NCSS playlist

I was honoured to DJ at Nipclub for the first time last weekend.  This was my playlist.

• She Works Hard For The Money - Donna Summer
• It's Raining Men - The Weather Girls
• Waterline - Jedward
• Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley
• Agadoo - Black Lace
• Boys (Summertime Love) - Sabrina
• Boom Boom (Let's Go Back To My Room) - Paul Lekakis
• Get Outta My Dreams Get Into My Car - Billy Ocean
• Gettin' Jiggy Wit It - Will Smith
• Be My Valentine - Svetlana Loboba
• Milkshake - The Village People
• Big Booty - Jennifer Lopez & Iggy Azalea
• Dhoom Again (from the movie Dhoom 2)

Introducing Gunna

Without a doubt the biggest influence on my early life was my brofur Gunna.  He was the greatest.  A big grey ball of muscle and dashingly handsome, Gunna taught me everything I needed to know about how to be a pawsome kitty.

Gunna was born on the streets.  Straight away he had to learn how to survive in such a cruel cruel environment.  Forced as a kitten to join an adult world, Gunna learned how to hunt and his fighting prowess was legendary throughout the neighbourhood.  And like any stray cat in a struggle for survival, Gunna had to pull out all stops to score himself a free feed.  This included begging for food from strangers and that is how our story with Gunna began.

It was a sultry night in December 1994 when Gunna made his first appearance on the human's doorstep.  As a young seven-month old cat, Gunna was just entering his prime but he already knew what to do to get what he wanted.  He wanted food, and was willing to do anything to get it.  Although he was a stray, Gunna was confident amongst people and he conned the human with his easy going nature and pitiful meowing.  She quickly relented and gave him some leftovers from dinner.  "Score!" Gunna thought to himself.  "What an easy target."

Knowing he was on to a good thing, Gunna was back again the next night.  And the next night and the following night as well.  Soon he was spending most of the day there as well.  But he was yet to officially move in.  Being in such good condition the human did not know if Gunna had a home elsewhere.  (We later found out that Gunna was going around to all the neighbours' houses for a free feed!)

Things continued like this for several months.  Gunna was spending all his time at our house, and no one seemed to be looking for him.  The human grew more and more attached to him and named him Gunsynd after the famous Australian racehorse.  One of our most beloved champions, Gunsynd was a handsome grey who was known for his courageous nature.  He also oozed charisma and would seek out any opportunity to pose for the camera.  The name suited Gunna perfectly.

Sometimes a silver lining accompanies a tragedy and this was the case with Gunna.  The human found Gunna in obvious distress in the backyard.  With food on offer, he limped painfully towards the human.  He was in a frightful state with fur off his face and a badly injured front paw.  It was at that moment that Gunna became a permanent member of our family.  After an emergency visit to the vet, Gunna was diagnosed with a badly bruised paw (possibly from being hit by a car or bike) and he was ordered to rest it.  That evening Gunna spent what might have been his first night inside.  A week later he was at the vet again and he came home two-stone lighter.  Not that it slowed him down any.  Gunna had become a gelded house cat but he still had all the swagger and confidence of a street-based entire.

A few years later I arrived on the scene.  The human needn't have worried how Gunna would react.  Sensing I wasn't a threat, Gunna took me under his wing and became like a father to me.  He taught me how to chase things and how to open the sliding door on my own.  He would always protect me from any danger.  Gunna was my best friend and I loved him.

We lost Gunna to cancer at age 12.  It was a devastating loss for all of us.  He was laid to rest under a mulberry tree in our backyard and the human still says hello to him when she passes by.  To this day our hearts still ache for Gunna, but we are grateful to have known and loved him.

I'm never ever going back there again!

I looked up at her and thought to myself, "I hate you and I'll hate you forever."

SEVERAL WEEKS EARLIER

My first few months in my new home were as close to perfect as a little kitten could wish for.  I had all the food I could eat, a nice warm cosy bed, a human who loved me and who I loved back, and the best brofur (Gunna) in the world.  I was living a charmed life until tragedy stuck.

It started off with a sniffle.  It was one of those sniffles that normally you wouldn't give a second thought to.  But soon the sniffle was accompanied by a sneeze.  And then my eyes developed a mind of their own and were rolling around in my head!  What was happening to me?  Was I going to die?  Surely the universe wouldn't be that cruel as to let me find my purrfect home only to immediately rip me away from this earth!

"Don't worry Leroy," said the human.  "We'll get you all fixed up."  I wasn't convinced.  I could hear the fear in her voice and knew she was trying to persuade herself as much as she was me.

What happened next is highly traumatic and I would suggest to any young kitten reading this to stop immediately.

The vet was just new in town.  The human had seen her around and decided to give her a chance with me as the unfortunate guinea pig.  The waiting room experience augured badly for what was to follow.

We entered the worn down old building with me in my cage and the human carrying me.  "We have an appointment for Leroy," the human told the receptionist.  The girl, who looked not a day more than sixteen, started a new record for me.  I listened with appal and dismay as the receptionist continually referred to me not as Leroy, but as Levi.  "My name is not Levi!" I screamed out.  "It's LEROY!  It's French for 'The King', you know!"  But despite my and the human's protests, the name was not changed and I was thereby known at that vet clinic as Levi.

The vet called Levi through to the consult room and I grumbled to myself, "My name's Leroy."  If I was not being carried around in my cage I would have refused to move.  She was only young, too young I thought to be opening her own clinic.  I wondered if it was because she couldn't find a job anywhere else.  Under sufferance I allowed the human to lift me from my cage.  "Yep, he looks sick," the vet deduced upon looking at me.  And when I say "looking at me" I mean she only looked at me.  No touching, no poking and prodding...what was going on?  Gunna had told me to expect to be manhandled and to have every orifice probed.  I lifted my tail up (Gunna had told me it was easier if I didn't struggle) but, guess what, no thermometer either!  I hated that vet, and I'll hate her forever.

The human and I left that day feeling shell shocked and $50 lighter in the pocket.  We didn't have a diagnosis and I still didn't know if I was going to die!

Having learnt her lesson that the grass wasn't always greener on the other side, the human took me to her regular vet.  He gave me a thorough once over and told us that I had allergies.  My runny nose, sneezing and funny eyes were all the result of hayfever.  The human and I breathed a sigh of relief.  I wasn't going to die after all!

I still suffer from allergies but the symptoms are not as severe as the ones I endured during that first Spring.  That lady vet still works in my area, but I am never ever going back there again.

A tribute to my beloved Pinker Pinker

It was the morning of 22 October 2011, 8.30 to be exact.  I was sitting in front of the TV and the human was looking at me strangely.  "No, surely not," she thought to herself.

It was Cox Plate day - the one day on the racing calendar that my household looks forward to the most.  The Melbourne Cup may be the race that stops a nation, but the Cox Plate is the event that racing purists hold most dear.  Only the very best horses descend upon Moonee Valley to contest the weight-for-age championship of Australasia.  Phar Lap, Tulloch, Tobin Bronze, Gunsynd, Kingston Town, Saintly, Might And Power - all of these champions have etched their names into Cox Plate history.  The human's favourite horses So You Think and Sunline each won the race twice.  And my favourite horse was about to join that prestigious honour roll.

There has been a long history in my house of the human picking a horse for me to cheer for.  Usually it is the horse with the most girlie name in the field.  So when Pinker Pinker came along, the human decided for me that she would be my favourite horse.  If I happened to walk into the room before one of her races I would be met with a barrage of laughs and comments.  "Come to watch Pinker Pinker?" the human would say.  I would just glare back at her.

After a while the human noticed a very curious coincidence - I would only turn up if Pinker Pinker was going to win.  I was there to cheer when she took out the Let's Elope Stakes, but  I was missing in action when she was beaten in the Epsom.  I was glued to the TV when she won the Angus Armanasco Stakes, while I couldn't bear to watch when she failed in AJC Oaks.

So when I was sitting in my favourite chair in front of the TV on Cox Plate morning, the human would not let herself believe that my power of prediction could possibly be right again.  Pinker Pinker was one of the outsiders and there was talk in some quarters that she didn't even deserve to be in the race.  But I knew better, and I wasn't moving for anything!

I waited there for eight hours and finally it was starting time.  Pinker Pinker was taken back in the field after barrier rise  and there she stayed until making the turn for home.  Then the miraculous happened.  The field fanned approaching the straight and the most beautiful gap appeared.  It was just like Moses and the parting of the Red Sea!  Saving valuable ground, Pinker Pinker dashed through and grabbed the lead.  With the human (the armchair jockey) slapping her formguide like a fool, nothing got near Pinker Pinker in the run to the line and she ran in an easy winner.

Amidst the tears, cheers and accolades from the human, I calmly left the room.  I momentarily looked back over my shoulder.  "See, I told you she would win."

My kitten video

Here is a video of my first few weeks in my new home.  Sure, it's not a chateau in France with Brangelina but I suppose it will do.

Just a word of warning, this is a large video file so I would suggest that you watch it on a device on which you have plenty of data.

In the beginning...

It can be said that the day a man is born will shape his personality forever.  You need to look no further than me for proof of this.  Few would miss the irony in the circumstances of my birth.  For when this meek black kitten entered the world on April Fool's Day, it was no laughing matter.

It was a night that no respectable kitty would venture out on.  The teeming rain was as hostile as the world that I was about to be born into.  I first took breath on that dark and gloomy night in a gutter on the wrong side of town.  My mother was just another crack ho who didn't have any idea who my father was.  Sadly, my mother had no interest in raising me.  As soon as she had delivered me she handed me off to a baby broker in return for a carton of Winnie Blues and a six-pack.

Where I ended up next will probably make some of my friends hate me.  That's right - I took up residence at the local pet shop.  It wasn't that bad really.  I had three square meals a day and I had lots of new friends to talk to, not that I remember many of them now.  They told me about a magical couple named Brangelina who would adopt a kitten from every country in the world.  It was said that they provide their kitties with an all-you-can eat buffet and you could do whatever you wanted whenever you wanted.  How I prayed that I would be adopted by Brangelina.

Days went by and I sat there waiting.  I waited and I waited, and then I waited some more.  Some of my friends left and some new friends arrived.  And still I waited.  Then, when I least expected it, a hand reached into my cage and lifted me up.  At first I was excited - Brangelina had finally come to take me home - but then my eyes adjusted to the reality of the situation.  This was not Brad or Angelina who was cradling me in her arms.  This was a mere mortal! 

"Noooo!!!" I cried as I shoved into a box and carried out of the pet shop that I had called home.  "What if Brangelina come to pick me up and I am not here?"  But no one listened as I was bundled into a car for the long ride to my new furever home.  "Goodbye," I screamed out to my friends.  "I will never forget you."  I tried to put on a brave face, but inside I feared what would happen to me.  Would I be happy or was this the cruelest April Fool's Day joke of all time?

Welcome to my blog!

Hello!  *waves paw*  It's me - Leroy!  I be a cat who be on Twitter (@LeroyBlackCat) and I have a few videos on the Yous Yube, and now I have this blog!  Cos I be 15 years old I not do much that's exciting anymore, so my blog gonna be some stories about the life that I have led so far.  I hope that you enjoy it!